April 11, 2010 - Johnny Martin

April 11, 2010
I Needed Something

As a child, I believed in church and God, but never made either a priority. Once Cristy and I married, we started attending regularly, but I still never really got involved. Years passed and after leaving our home church, we became distanced and unconnected from any church.

In 2007, we were expecting our son Cooper. Prenatal testing revealed he was at risk for Down’s Syndrome and possibly other issues. Our hearts sank as we wondered what this meant. Each month happy thoughts turned to worry as we wondered just what challenges we may face as parents to our new baby boy.

My concerns for what would be with our new son were replaced by feelings of loss, sadness and anger. My dad had died. Suddenly…unexpectedly…immediately. Why was all this happening? Why my baby? Why my dad? The sadness continued to build and turn to anger. A month after Daddy died, Cooper arrived with a minor kidney defect which could almost certainly be (and has been) corrected with surgery. I believe my dad had a hand in sending us this healthy baby boy.

But things still weren’t right; I needed a change.

Time passed and we started visiting Trinity; every now and then at first, then much more regularly. In November 2008, we joined and immediately started forming new friendships. I began to feel a change come about; a change in how I thought, how I behaved, and how I loved. I began to realize that I needed church—I needed the feelings and the love and the affirmation that I felt at church and with my church friends and family. It became something I needed, not just something we did.

Change had come and I know it was from above. My relationship with the God I had always believed in but had never relied on was forming. I now know that we all fall short and unplanned things happen. I still miss my dad and still wonder why his life had to be cut short; the anger has been replaced with understanding. Instead of constantly questioning, I now search for comfort. I turn to the Bible for guidance. I pray to a God who loves me and guides me. We need God’s word to help us and to get us back on the right track. Though life isn’t certain, and I’ve learned that none of us are promised a tomorrow, one thing is for certain: you can always count on God to get you through.

The LORD is my light and my salvation, so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. Psalm 27:1-3 (New Living Translation)

Johnny Martin