May 1, 2010 - Stephen and Amy Vessel

May 1, 2010

There are times in our lives that may be more difficult than others. We entered one of those seasons in our own marriage this fall where choices lay before us, and we had to make decisions of the next path our life would take us. We sought Godly counsel, grabbed our Bibles seeking the answers, and picked up a book at the local Christian bookstore by Gary Thomas called Devotions for a Sacred Marriage.
After 15 years of marriage, we realized for the first time that we did not have a God-centered marriage. After sharing these daily devotions together, we acknowledged we were taking what was right in front of us for granted… each other. We were missing the “oneness” that God seeks for all of us in His covenant of marriage. We humbled ourselves to admit that we did not have a sacred marriage.
The words of wisdom from those we respected the most will always hold true, “All marriages have problems. If you can persevere this storm, it will be amazing on the other side.” Those same friends reminded us that our marriage vows said “for better or worse.” We found such inspiring words of wisdom from some of our dearest friends in the months that followed. The story of our marriage’s transformation is now the center of our daily discussions. It is something not forgotten but certainly a reminder of our spiritual growth as a couple. We are still aspiring to be a better spouse to each other, and we strive to look forward instead of staring in the rear-view mirror at the past.
According to Thomas, “too many times in marriage, we forget we’re one. We start operating as individuals…forgetting that God is making us into a single unit.” We could admit that we were operating more like a business with very little intimacy. We had to both die to our old selves to blossom into the oneness God desired for us. “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10, NIV) By making the decision to turn our marriage over to God, we now see the transformation He is making in our lives each and every day.
In one of Andy Hurst’s recent sermons, he stated that in life, we are either growing spiritually toward God or turning away and dying. With that information, we both felt called to join Andy’s team of reading warriors and challenge ourselves to read the entire Bible during 2010. This has given us a new evening hobby – comparing notes and finding discoveries about ourselves that we learn from reading scripture together. The fifth chapter of Ephesians is one such passage:
And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. (Ephesians 5:31-33 The Message)
Stephen: By clarifying through God’s word our roles in this marriage, I am now serving my home as the spiritual leader of the family. I try to serve as a role model for my two sons and a best friend to my wife.
Amy: God’s words have removed a veil from my eyes and helped me see my purpose in life more clearly. I desire to fulfill my role as a faithful servant, a wife, a mother, striving to put all family needs above work and worldly obligations.
It is the quality time that now exists in our relationship that keeps our love for each other growing. New traditions include weekly date nights, reading together, praying together, and cooking together. By reprioritizing our lives, we not only see changes in each other but have experienced the joy of observing changes in our two sons.
We give God all the glory for the changes He has made and is making in our lives. We thank God for such a supportive and loving church that continues to guide us on our spiritual paths. We are embracing each other’s hobbies and choosing to experience life together side-by-side! We have rediscovered our love for music and singing and are planning to run a half-marathon together in the future.
We, like many other couples, hit a crossroads, a season of our marriage, where we could choose the world or the kingdom. We’ve chosen His kingdom, and He continues to bless us daily for recommitting our lives to Him and to each other. His words to live by:
"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me. (John 15:4, The Message)

Stephen and Amy Vessel