April 12, 2010 - Debbie Holmes

April 12, 2010
I wish I could say that there was one time in my life where God made this huge radical change in me and I became the person God created me to be! Unfortunately, that’s not how it works with me. As I look back, God is changing me one step at a time! Of course, nothing is too big for him, but maybe he knows I might not be able to handle it any other way.

Here are my “steps” or my times of growth from the Father:

1. Finding out I was going to be a parent and realizing the responsibility of raising my children in a Christian home. I wasn’t fit to be a Christian parent and had to cry out to God for help! That was a “wake-up call”.
2. Receiving the book “A Purpose Driven Life” from my dear friend, Kathy Sutton. The first page changed my life. I realized “It’s about God, not me. This stuff I have isn’t because of anything I’ve done and the stuff I don’t have isn’t because of what I’ve not done”. My heart was changed and my mind open. This was a “liberating time”.
3. Leaving my church of 37 years and moving to Trinity to “The Refuge”. We came to a church where we receive God’s Word through Andy and where I have received God’s Word through numerous Bible Studies with Carolyn Smith, Pam Durrett and Marcie Wright. The 5 years I have been at Trinity have transformed me at a faster pace than ever before. This time at Trinity has been a time of “filling my heart with his word” – the essence of changing to the person God has made me to be!!

In these three steps God “woke me up”, “freed me up” then “filled me up”. I don’t think these events happened in this specific order. At the time, I sure didn’t know what he was orchestrating in my life! But I just have to praise God that he never gave up on me!

Of course, this is only a “condensed version” of what’s happened to me. In between the steps were several years and many life-altering experiences. If you could read between the lines you would see times of loss, betrayal, unhappiness, unforgiveness, grief, sorrow, worldly living... I could go on and on and on!!

If you look closely at my times of growth and change, you’ll notice a couple of things – God used Godly people to change me. My son needed a Christian mother. Kathy gave me a book and said “Let’s do this together”. Andy poured out his heart and God’s Word and handed out Lego pieces, eating utensils and sponges to help me understand God’s Word. Christy Garrett said to me ONE time, “I’m signing up for the Beth Moore study Carolyn Smith is leading, do you want to go?”

The other common factor in my growth is God’s Word! I wish I could tell you how much time I spend with my head in my Bible, but I am guilty of neglecting the one thing I can hold in my hands and tell you “THIS IS IT!! THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE”!!! But God loves me so much that he overlooks how stubborn I can be and he keeps laying it on the hearts of women in our church to lead Bible based in-depth studies. And he loves me enough to keep my heart longing for more and more and more change!

I’m not fully transformed. I am looking forwarded to “Step 4”! I don’t know when it’s going to start or what it’s going to be, I don’t even know how many more steps there are to take!! The next step may be the hardest of all, but the changes (that maybe only I know about) are worth it!

Debbie Holmes