April 15, 2010 - Gina Palmer

April 15, 2010

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
For most of my life, I have been extremely comfortable blending in with those around me. I love to help and make things happen, but I much prefer to stay behind the scenes. I hold myself to extremely high standards in everything I do, but I tend to worry entirely too much about what other people think. At some point, this need for conformity began to blind me to God’s plans, purposes, and will for my life.
God recently used a struggle with my health to bring about profound physical, emotional, and spiritual healing, and, yes, I believe He has begun a transformation. I had been noticing pain on my lower left side for about twelve years. I mentioned it to my doctors, especially during my pregnancies when the pain was worse, but they basically dismissed it as nothing to worry about. Well, it did not go away, and only got worse. About four years ago, I decided to have tests run, but they did not find anything that should be causing pain in that area, so I figured I would just have to live with it and try to manage it with diet and exercise. This helped for a while, but by December 2009, the pain was very intense, and I knew I was going to have to figure out what was wrong. I had a CT scan done in January, and the results showed that I had a grapefruit-sized tumor, and I needed to meet with a surgeon to discuss removing it. Overwhelming anxiety descended upon me, and after three days of crying out to God, I realized that I needed to e-mail the prayer warriors and let them know exactly what was wrong. The anxiety began to lift almost immediately, and e-mails of prayer and encouragement flooded my inbox for the next few days. Cards filled my mailbox, people called, and the sewing team made a prayer quilt for me.
When I met with the surgeon and showed him the pictures from the CT scans, he concluded that what had been diagnosed as a tumor was actually a hernia that could easily be fixed. We scheduled the surgery, and as I waited I began to think about all God had done in my life. This really helped me to praise God and see that I needed to trust him and let go of the fear. I was also involved in the Bible-in-a-year study. In this study, we read a passage, pick a specific scripture, and write about it, especially looking for how to apply it to our own life. I began to hear God more clearly than I ever had before.
After the surgery, I continued to have vivid memories, and I knew that God was doing more than healing me physically, so I prayed to be healed completely. During this time, we were studying the book of Leviticus, and I felt the Lord speak to me through the following verse: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with your heads held high” (Leviticus 26:13). The Lord had delivered me through the surgery and healed me physically. I was already feeling much better than I had in a long time. But, even more than that, He had delivered me when I first prayed the prayer to receive forgiveness and salvation in 1996. I knew that it was time to start telling this story.
My family and I were members of a Methodist church, but we rarely attended, and I never went through confirmation. I did not understand God’s grace and mercy; I really thought God just wanted me to be good. My mother loved to read devotional books, and by the time I was married in 1992, she had bought me a number of different ones, and I was reading on a regular basis. In 1996, while I was on a business trip alone in a hotel room, I read a devotion about salvation. I found myself on the floor, praying the prayer in the book, and I immediately felt saved. Two years later, after Jim had finished school and we had settled in Baton Rouge, we had become friends with a couple Jim worked with, and they often came to our house. One day, they were at our house, and David saw one of my books on the counter and said, “Do you guys go to church anywhere?” I said, “No, we don’t.” He said, “You need to be in church. We’ll pick you up at 10 on Sunday.” Several weeks later, we joined the church for the first time.
Jim joined by profession of faith and was baptized on my thirtieth birthday, October 7, 1998. I transferred my membership from the church I had not stepped foot in since we were married in 1992. Looking back, I’m not really sure why I did that, but it was clearly not the right decision. God had chosen me, chased me, caught me, and blessed me, and He was the reason I was at the altar, not an old membership from long ago. I should have joined by profession of faith and been baptized.
So, after almost twelve years, ten of which have been spent at Trinity being nurtured as a disciple, worshiping God, and serving, I was baptized on March 7, 2010 in the church I truly call home and among the people I consider to be my family. I have never felt so free in all my life. God has healed me completely. I feel better than I have felt in years. As much as I wanted to blend in and at least appear to be like my perception of everyone else, I have found amazing freedom in submitting my true self to God and allowing Him to begin to transform me into the woman he is calling me to be.

Gina Palmer